1: One who spends or gives lavishly and foolishly.
or
2: One who has returned after an absence.
My wallet is both of those things.
I don't lose my wallet very often, but I suppose I lose it more often than a lot of people do. Maybe once every 1.5 to 2 years. This year, though, I've lost it twice. Actually, twice within the last four months or so. One of those times was last night.
All of this would be a sadder story if the wallet didn't come back every time, but it does. When I say, "every time," let me tell you what I mean. Of the last five times I've lost my wallet, every time it has returned to me, with everything in it. I don't remember ever having lost my wallet and it just being gone forever. It's always come back with everything in it.
I once dropped it in a rest area in a whole 'nother state, and an elderly woman found it and shipped it back to me. One of the few, brief moments in my life that my state ID actually had my current address on it.
Once, I dropped it on the Capitol Square when I was living in Madison, WI. A week later, a police officer had tracked me down and was knocking on my door to give it back.
Once, I dropped my wallet on the sidewalk outside of a building downtownish and the security person in that building found it, brought it inside, called my credit card and had my credit card call me to come get it.
Once I left it at a greasy spoon after a night of drinking and dancing and was able to get it back from them. That one was especially stressful because I had someone else's Devo tickets in there too.
Most recently, I dropped it in the middle of the street. You can even tell it's been run over by the mangling of the little plastic keyring on its corner. I woke up this morning to a man blowing up my phone, calling me over and over, saying he has my wallet, he's in the neighborhood, and can I come get it.
Imagine me, if you will, waking up only 5 minutes before I usually leave the house, learning that I'd lost my wallet via anonymous text message, pulling on any clothes I can find to wear to work, while on the phone, frantically arranging to meet a stranger at a nearby fast food restaurant so I can grab my wallet from him on my way to work.
I got there in probably a mere ten minutes from waking up. I was so wired by the urgency of the situation that I gave this stranger an enthusiastic hug, thanked him profusely and took off for work.
Everything was in there:
- Two credit cards
- Two debit cards
- Two CTA fare cards
- One dollar, cash
- A $250 check my mom had written that ANYONE could have cashed
- My ID
- A prescription card for my cat's cat food
- A bunch of bicycle-themed, hand-drawn stickers I'd made
- A receipt for a $90 purchase that I need to have with me when I go to pick up a pair of boots I'd special ordered from a shoe store and had paid for in full
This time, I didn't even have to suffer the anxiety of knowing that my wallet was lost and not knowing where to find it.
Dear Mr. James Walletfinder, sir: you are an angel.
Dear Universe: I am a little creeped out, but endlessly appreciative of all the little ways you keep watching out for me.
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